Off Sides

After Jill explicitly tells Tim not to touch the dishwasher, he breaks it in an attempt to make it more powerful; more of a "man's" dishwasher. Jill has a job interview, but she doesn't get it and when Tim tries to comfort her, he only makes matters worse. After talking to Wilson, Tim tries again and succeeds.

After breaking Tim's torque wrench that has been in the family for twenty years, Mark fears that he will be traded in after Brad and Randy make up a story about "Peter", their former brother that was traded in after he broke one of Tim's flashlights.

When she can't find a babysitter, Jill has a magician named Sir Larry Houdini watch the kids while she and Tim go on their romantic dinner. However, Tim is too distracted by a football game to pay attention to her. Meanwhile, the kids lock the magician in a trunk as part of a magic trick...with unexpected results.

Tim puts up a satellite, but at the same time Jill is visited by another man who is helping her with her resume. Tim becomes anxious, and keeps checking up on them while they work. But the man has something to admit after Tim leaves the room.

While working in the basement, Tim hears some strange noises. Is it a mouse or is it a creepy crawly snake?

Jill doesn't believe Tim could teach the boys good manners, and get rid of their gross antics. So, Jill makes a bet with Tim, and when the day finally comes, Jill is very surprised with what she sees.

Jill drives with her oil light on, and Tim feels she doesn't respect the car. He then shares his problem on Tool Time, and two other guys from the audience share their wives' antics, but as usual Tim takes it too far.

The K&B Construction guys are invited on Tool Time to show how to make hot gourmet meals while on the job site. They use the tools of their trade to make meals anyone would be proud of. At home, Jill is fed up with Brad and Randy excluding Mark from their games so she has a talk with them. Brad and Randy tell Mark that they, along with Tim and Jill, are aliens from outer space. But Mark gets his own back when Tim and Jill dress up as aliens and scare Brad and Randy.

Tim decides to put in another sink in the bathroom so his shaving junk won't be in Jill's way, but the project takes longer than he expects.

Tim decides to do a Tool Time special for women to teach plumbing. After being called an idiot by Randy, Brad worries that he will do bad on a test.

Jill gets stage fright when she has to deliver a speech in front of women at the Library Association. Tim and Mark dress up as women to help her get over her fear.

Tim competes in the neighborhood Christmas light competition. Mark writes his Christmas list to Santa, but Brad and Randy tell him Santa is dead.

Tim and Jill have a bowling match against each other and try no to make it competitive, until the K&B Construction guys show up. The boys get in trouble at an arcade.

Jill doesn't want Stu Cutler, Tim's old college friend, in the house. So Tim tries to keep him away but when he gives in and Stu comes to the house, he insults Tim and Jill and belches with the boys.

Karen visits and Tim must stand up to her. Jennifer invites Brad to her parents' anniversary, so Jill teaches him how to dance.

Tim gets Jill a lifetime membership to a health care club, until she says she will never exercise again. Brad and Randy spend all of their money on a baseball card, so they make Mark give them a "brother tax" to get Jill a present.

Tim cheats to beat Tool Time guest Bob Vila at a trivia game. Randy pulls a prank on Curtis, a geek at school.

It's Valentines weekend, and Tim makes plans to go with Jill to a romantic getaway. Then on Tool Time, camping equipment is showed off, and Tim says he wishes he could go camping with his family. Mr. Binford then forces Tim to camp that weekend, and Jill isn't very pleased.

Tim receives a chain letter in the mail, and eventually finds out that Al sent it to him. Tim throws the letter away, and bad luck follows him throughout the whole episode. Randy wrecks his new bike after being dared to do a trick.

Jill tells Tim that he is a bad listener when he doesn't remember her mentioning the opera fundraiser. Brad and Randy try to get Mark to eat a worm while working on a birdhouse.

Jill places her pottery maker in the garage, and Tim doesn't appreciate it. He then accidentally breaks her first creation, which gets Jill very mad. At the same time Al tells Tim how easy it must be to be the host, so Tim lets Al try it, and it isn't as easy as he expected.

Al and Robin, Jill's sister, ruin Tim's poker night.

Al tries to ask Greta Post out, but when he does he screws up. After Jill finds her old diary, Tim wants to read it. Tim notices that Brad acts different around Jennifer.

Tim and Jill have a fight over the volume of the stereo, until the speaker blows.