The Birds…and…um…Bess

Mary produces a documentary, "What's Your Sexual I.Q.?", and is suddenly considered an authority on the subject by her friends, fellow workers and anonymous telephone callers. Phyllis pleads with Mary to tell her 12-year-old daughter, Bess, the facts of life, and Mary acquiesces. After running a survey among her friends to discover how they first learned about sex, and how they told their children, Mary tackles the subject with Bess.

Mike Cooper is a middle-aged bachelor who is intrigued by Mary Richards' telephone voice. He asks his friend, Lou Grant, to fix him up with a date and Lou reluctantly agrees. Mary's blind date with Mike leads to long conversations – between Cooper and Grant – as a result of Lou's decision to go along as chaperone.

Mary Richards discovers that the office vacation schedule forces her to take time off during the winter, so she asks Rhoda to go with her to some sunny, tropical resort. Mary and Rhoda settle for a winter vacation in Mexico, but they are unable to find suitable accommodations. The girls meet Gustavo, the proprietor of a little Mexican restaurant, who promises to get them first-class reservations in his home town – if they will take a package across the border for him.

Mary Richards decides to enroll for a television journalism course at a night school. She gets good vibrations, but not necessarily good grades, from the instructor of the course, Dan Whitfield. Dan is more impressed with Mary's personal charms than with the fact that she is an associate producer, so he exercises his prerogative and keeps her after school.

Mrs. Morgenstern visits her daughter, Rhoda, with whom she is always at odds. In her desire to bridge the generation gap, Mrs. Morgenstern talks to Phyllis and decides to test her theory of being a pal to Rhoda instead of just a mother. Rhoda plays along patiently until she finds herself with an over-amorous date.

Ted Baxter's successful brother, Hal, arrives in Minneapolis and drops by the station for a surprise visit. The brothers have always been very competitive, so Ted, wanting to impress Hal, introduces Mary Richards as his girlfriend. The game of one-upmanship is renewed with vigor when Mary and Rhoda double date the two brothers.

Mary Richards returns to her hometown for a high school class reunion and Rhoda Morgenstern goes along in the hope of finding an eligible bachelor among Mary's ex-classmates. The reunion gets off to a dismal start when Estelle, the class president, needles Mary about being unmarried. The situation is further complicated when Howard Arnell, Mary's un-favorite ex-boyfriend, arrives on the scene.

When a newswriters' union strike hits the station, only Mary Richards and Lou Grant, representing management, are left to prepare and deliver the six o'clock news. Lou fills in for Ted Baxter, while Mary takes Murray's place as the newswriter. Mary's writing style leave Lou terrified and practically speechless in front of the camera.

In the interest of job security, Ted Baxter has not taken a vacation in four years. Finally forced to take two weeks off, Ted worries that his temporary replacement, Rod Porter, a very popular substitute anchor man, will become a permanent fixture. Porter is an immediate hit with the viewers and "The Six O'Clock News" moves the station from last place to second in the ratings. As a result, everybody expects Porter to get the job permanently and Ted pleads with Mary to put in a good word for him with Lou.

Mary Richards receives – of all things – a "chain-letter" from – of all people – her boss, Lou Grant, and doesn't know how to avoid passing it along. When Mary learns everyone else in the newsroom has been similarly victimized by the boss, she systematically goes through her address book for the names of 20 people she can pester. One of them is Armond Lynton, who pesters her until she agrees to date him. Before they leave the apartment, Rhoda shows up followed by Roy Martoni, a cookware salesman, who has also received one of the letters.

Because he's lonely while his wife is out of town, Lou Grant takes Mary and Rhoda to a movie, where they run into Lou's son-in-law with a girl who is not Lou's daughter. Embarrassed at the confrontation, Lou, Mary and Rhoda leave the movie and spend a long evening while Lou plays the outraged father determined to protect his daughter and teach his son-in-law a lesson.

Rhoda Morgenstern loses her job as window decorator and, when a job opens up at the television station, Mary Richards has mixed emotions about telling her friend about it. Mary is reluctant to work in the same office as Rhoda so ultimately tells her that the job at the station has been filled. Later on, Mary's conscience gets the better of her and she confesses, but Rhoda is indifferent. She appears to be spending more time watching television than job hunting. After three weeks, Mary decides to get tough with Rhoda. But it doesn't work – and Rhoda's reaction is a complete surprise to Mary.

When editor Lou Grant decides to do a little redecorating in his home – specifically, the living room, as a surprise for his wife – reporter Mary Richards suggests that her friend, Rhoda Morgenstern, could help him. Lou turns the whole job over to Rhoda. She makes a gallant effort, but good taste and Lou's taste don't necessarily go hand-in-hand and the end result leaves a lot to be desired. Rhoda tries to pacify the angry newsman by changing practically everything back to its original style.

Is Ted Baxter, the inadequate anchorman, really in love? He begins to show all the symptoms when he borrows fresh roses from Mary Richards' desk to give to the daughter of Chuckles the Clown, on whose show he recently appeared. Ted denies to Mary that he is dating Betty Bowerchuck, Chuckles' daughter, but finally confesses that his denial is prompted by his fear that his new girlfriend may reject him. Betty, however, has fallen head-over-heels in love with Ted, but she tearfully confesses to Mary and Rhoda Morgenstern that there are certain things about him she doesn't quite understand. So Mary takes Ted aside to explain a few things about the facts of life – and love.

Newswoman Mary Richards accepts a date with the governor's executive adviser, whom she had met while covering a local community affairs meeting. The demands of his job force him to cancel the date at the last minute, however, and each successive date – a total of four – winds up in the same manner – him bowing out for business reasons just before he is to pick her up. When the governor goes out of town, it seems that the two will finally get together, but again, at the last minute, the governor calls requesting his aid to represent him at a local meeting. Mary slowly begins to realize that perhaps political life is a lot less glamorous than she first thought.

When Randy Wilner does a really rotten job of waiting on her table in a restaurant, Mary Richards complains to the owner, who promptly fires Randy. The following day Randy appears in the television newsroom to apply for a secretary's job and Mary, feeling guilty about what she had done the night before, hires Randy as her assistant. The girl soon proves to be as incompetent in the newsroom as she was in the restaurant and Mary finds herself doing extra work to cover up for Randy's mistakes. When editor Lou Grant learns of the situation, he fires Randy. But Mary still feels responsible for the girl and tries to get her a job at another television station.

Newsman Murray Slaughter decides to buy a small, but expensive, foreign car as a gift for his wife, Marie, and takes a job at night to earn the necessary extra money. Because the car is to be a surprise, Murray does not tell anyone in the office about what he is doing and editor Lou Grant nearly fires him for coming in each day too tired to do his work. When Mary Richards finally learns Murray's secret, she tries to help him. But all this does is to make Marie suspect that Mary and her husband are having an affair. So Mary tells Marie the truth and Murray quits his second job. He also starts looking for what might be available in a used car lot.

Mary Richards agrees to baby-sit with Bess Lindstrom for a weekend but gets a phone call from a former boyfriend who says he'll be in town for only one night. Mary calls several agencies, but no sitter is available. Rhoda Morgenstern can't help because she already has a date. Mary finally calls her television newsroom boss, Lou Grant, to ask if he knows of anyone and, to her surprise, he volunteers for the job because his television set is broken and he wants to watch a big fight. Lou, however, finds that baby-sitting is a little more complicated than he first thought.

When the apartment directly below Mary Richards' becomes available, she spreads the word at the television news office where she works. Newsman Ted Baxter looks the apartment over, likes it and, to Mary's chagrin, decides to move in. He is encouraged repeatedly to do so by Phyllis Lindstrom, who would like a "celebrity" living in the building. The finicky Ted brings in a law student to check the lease and newsroom boss Lou Grant tries to help Mary by pointing out to Ted all of its disadvantages. Ted is not fazed, however, until Lou reminds him of the moving expenses he will incur. As a result of this, Ted reconsiders his decision to move.

Young Bess Lindstrom has written an essay for her English class which her mother, Phyllis, decides should be shared with the world. The essay is titled, "The Care and Feeding of Parents." Bess badgers Mary Richards, who finally agrees to take it to a publishing firm in her office building. When she is unable to get an appointment with the publisher, she turns to television newsroom head, Lou Grant, her boss, for assistance. He tells her the essay doesn't contain enough material for a book. Phyllis is eager to have Bess add to the composition and even offers to help her. But Mary learns that Bess is tired of writing and that her mother is the only one pushing it.

When a fire breaks out in Rhoda Morgenstern's apartment and she loses all her possessions, her friend Mary Richards insists that Rhoda move in with her for a few days. Unfortunately, Mary's apartment seems to get smaller and the friendship thinner as the days drag by. The difference in Rhoda's and Mary's living habits become painfully apparent when Mary can't sleep because Rhoda's watching the late movie on television and doesn't clean up the kitchen after she has used it to cook. Their longtime friendship seems doomed – until Rhoda gets a date with one of the firemen who tried to save her apartment.

Mary Richards meets architect Matt Bryan when he comes to sketch her apartment building. After several dates, the two appear to be on the verge of becoming serious, but Mary notices that Matt avoids discussing the possibility of marriage. She is surprised one day when a young man shows up at her office and introduces himself as Matt Jr. She knows that Matt has been married and divorced and had a son, but she was expecting a nine-year-old boy, not a 24-year-old man. Matt Jr. takes Mary to lunch and tells her not to worry if his father seems ill at ease, because he always does when he becomes serious about a girl. Later, Matt Sr. tells Mary he suspects his son has told her of his fear of a second failure in marriage. Nevertheless, he proposes to her.

Joanne Forbes accidentally collides her car with Mary Richards' and the girls become friends. When the two begin to spend a great deal of time together, Rhoda Morgenstern, Mary's longtime friend, becomes jealous. Joanne invites Mary to join her and two other friends for a game of tennis at a local private club, but when one member of the group doesn't show up, Mary suggests that Rhoda substitute. To Mary's surprise, Joanne begins to make excuses for not inviting Rhoda. Mary discovers that Joanne belongs to a restricted tennis club and that, despite her denials, Joanne is prejudiced. Realizing how much she values Rhoda's friendship, Mary decides that she and Joanne should go their separate ways.

When Mary Richards gets city councilman Peter Peterson to appear on "Face the People," she learns that he's not ready to face the people – he's completely ignorant of current events. Mary, along with Peterson's aides, desperately try to bring Councilman Peterson up to speed with the latest news so he doesn't embarrass himself.